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What I Want

by Lady Pills

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $7 USD  or more

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    on black vinyl. First pressing of 300

    Shipping in May 2022 (hopefully)

    Includes unlimited streaming of What I Want via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days
    edition of 300 

      $20 USD or more 

     

  • What I Want Cassette
    Cassette + Digital Album

    black cassette in a cardboard sleeve

    first run of 100

    Includes unlimited streaming of What I Want via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Sold Out

1.
Daughter 03:39
i found a man who knows how to hold my hand stand up and say you can’t talk about her that way venom drips from your sibling’s lips i shaved some hair off today a part of me you touched, let it regenerate have you learned to be alone? learned to stand tall on your own? in the arms of a lover who forgets you’re someone’s daughter undo all the buttons of the dress i own i’ve worn it everyday since i was told i’d grown i cry for every woman, cuz it’s all we’ve ever known there’s magic in loss and heartache in growth i’m grateful for all the love, but i’m fed up with them both have you had to battle with yourself about the cards that you’ve been dealt in the arms of a lover who forgets you’re someone’s daughter in the arms of a lover who says you’ve got nothing left to offer in the arms of a lover for whom you became a martyr in the mountains i felt strong, you get so small your life is gone everything is endless, it can’t get better than this the feeling slipped as miles grew, and the highway forced me home to the arms of a lover who forgets i’m someone’s daughter
2.
Actin' Tough 04:39
stitch me up and pour me a drink it’s getting heavy and i’m too tired to think it used to hurt and now it’s lost i asked my mother, she said don’t get too caught up beauty gets crossed you put your hand on my heart but my foot’s in a grave you can serve me something special, i’ll tell you how bad it tastes baby don’t be brave and if you’re feeling something, you’re one of the lucky ones if it won’t open up, don’t push your luck,or it’ll come undone you know it’s nothing to do with love i’m just actin’ tough i found you in the dark but we never grew the nights were red but the mornings were always blue i miss all the people that i never knew but baby don’t you worry, i’ll never follow through and if you’re feeling something, you’re one of the lucky ones if it won’t open up, don’t push your luck, or it’ll come undone you know it’s nothing to do with love i’m just actin’ tough i woke up with an ache in my hips i know i linger on your bottom lips i wanna do it better this time get you in my muscles so i can say i tried that’s a lie and if you’re feeling something, you’re one of the lucky ones if it won’t open up, don’t push your luck,or it’ll come undone you know it’s nothing to do with love i never can get enough i’m just actin’ tough
3.
My Weight 03:35
i know what i am worth, i know what makes me hurt i know when i am tall, i don’t scare you at all when i dance you let me be, don’t try and take the lead and i don’t need to be impressed cuz this is how it should be i think i want this with you how can i get you closer? i’ll do it right forever oh i think you want the same too so c’mon let’s get closer, we’ll do it right forever when you hold my weight it feels so good to be alone and to be in your home i love your walls i love your chair i love when my dog sleeps there you’ve got a language with your laugh, the type where everyone is happy and even if i’m glad i know this is how it should be i think i want this with you how can i get you closer? i’ll do it right forever oh i think you want the same too so c’mon let’s get closer, we’ll do it right forever when you hold my weight it feels so good i believe in everything you’ve got up your sleeve i believe that you’ll always believe in me strong hands hold me like a million friends oh don’t you know that you are a five star show i wonder if you know that you’ve got a heart of gold if i found it on the street i’d pick it up and save the meat i’d show it off to all my friends and say can you believe the quality but i don’t need to be impressed cus this is how it should be i think i want this with you how can i get you closer? i’ll do it right forever oh i think you want the same too so c’mon let’s get closer, we’ll do it right forever when you hold my weight it feels so good!
4.
Ugly 02:54
in the water i was frozen i never saw without a sound i took the dreams that i had broken i turned back then back around in the army of the current you made the fish see down as up so they swam towards what would starve them only beasts can feed off love saw you by the water tracing the shadows that the moon did cast but even her purity can’t outshine the light that i see in your eyes no it can’t outshine the light that i see when you are ugly to me
5.
What I Want 03:12
peel the skin from the fruit devour the sweetness i gave you tough stuff was there to challenge you now it’s in the garbage to sift through suck my goodness off your fingers wash away the residue complain that this is too sticky then back to the kitchen to get more fruit oh man this must be hard on you poor man is this so hard for you? how do you take it? raw, rare, tender, shape it, life is what you make it c’mon! if you want it, you can just take it but can you take it like i take it everyday? oh man this must be hard on you poor man is this so hard for you? poison in your cup, does it scare you when i know what i want? poison in your cup, does it scare you that i know what i want?
6.
came to me like a diamond hot under pressure, everyone wanted ya put your ego in your pocket so every time you held me, there was something between us the problem with your love is there was always the condition of the trouble with your love is there was always the condition of never asking for more thought i was lucky just to have you lucky that you would ever want me too but my space was never valued or my capacity or my amnesty but i was lucky that you wanted me too the problem with your love is there was always the condition of the trouble with your love is there was always the condition of never being too loud you had a surface made of kindness the smoothest waters, i could skip stones on it for miles then one day i threw a rock in anger erupted and never settled back as sediment you put your ego in your pocket and when i clung to you, you yelled at me for smothering it why couldn’t you be good to me this was a mediocre fantasy the problem with your love is there was always the condition of the trouble with your love is there was always the condition of never conditioned enough i was never conditioned enough
7.
She Said 03:07
she said i wanna know where you go in your dreams is it gentle is it full of nice things can the weight of it all follow you down safely can i follow i’m thinking maybe i like your grit if it’s true can you handle it i wanna go walking out in the sun so it blinds me i don’t need to see anyone do they know you have they seen you get high you don’t wanna let them try but i’m thinking you might let me taste your empathy let’s keep this in the dark, i promise not to ask you how you’re feeling if you do your best to listen to her heart’s the hardest part my heart’s the hardest part of this and wait does it do everything it can do to a point in the distance towards nothing at all do you know how grateful i am that you’re here and to laugh with all your might and point your finger nowhere man it’s easy to it’s so easy to i heard you’re playing with the dogs before the first sun falls at the meadow that you figured could still be your cure all but do you know how tightly you grip my palms after you crawl back in and say it’s nothing at all well i guess that’s it
8.
how did you learn to glow when you ran me off the road rev your engine all alone tough guy drinks your spirit shows do you wanna move around do you wanna shake it out morning fun playing house nighttime lazy passing out well it’s over now nurse the ink from your pen what was our nest became your den didn’t want this to end didn’t know how to spend your time in your real life your time in your real life any time in your real life was i your real life doesn’t it feel good to know you’re gonna be loved out on the road
9.
Mundane 03:39
i got steel in my fingers call me up for a better version of the reasons you linger call you out but i could never calm you down i’ve got the answers in my hands and i’m not running out of reasons toes deep in the sand, tiny rocks that took the load off i could stare off at nothing and learn something every day write down your answers to the riddles you ignore drowning in chances second, third, and stupidly a fourth hoping there’s an explanation to the closing doors it’s easier if you surrender, only truth will float passing through the phases, learn to touch the things that sting nothing goes away so try to face what you can if there’s love in everyone why can’t you be my man? walked with me, simplicity, but i dared you to dance all we have right now is making the time count but time is obsolete so let the phonies play in peace scale it back and learn to lie down, is she laughing in your dreams a manic imitation of the things you say you mean give up your rations call your greed by it’s name laugh at your reactions we’re just coffee grounds hangin’ round the drain if there’s a way in then the way out’s still the same stare off at nothing how do you define mundane blanket baby watch it go by watch it never change blanket baby watch it go by watch it never change
10.
Family 02:23
there is a garden at my mother’s feet lilacs and lavender, nectar so sweet and brilliance blooms from the tops of the trees she guides me, she heals me she’s lovely, she’s lovely and my father works til it’s stored in his bones he speaks from his soul and his words are his own an open oasis, he is his own home he guides me, he heals me he’s lovely, he’s lovely and i’m so lucky and my grandmother’s a woman of art she can move mountains with the strength of her heart in the darkest of skies, she’s the brightest of stars she guides me, she heals me she’s lovely, she’s lovely and i’m so lucky

credits

released February 11, 2022

produced, recorded, and mixed by sean mclaughlin
mastered by zach bloomstein
all songs written by ella boissonnault
all songs performed by ella boissonnault and sean mclaughlin
pedal steel by cody nilson
spicy noises by ella, michelle schantz, dan barbrack, addison, and scramps

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Lady Pills Boston, Massachusetts

Boston, MA


Booking Inquiries: ladypillsmusic@gmail.com

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